autism headbanging

A autism issue that has been running me tagged this past week and a half more then it ever has done im not sure whats causing it to happen but its happening on and off all day every single day heres a photo from the first night

I am lucky that I have my curly curt smith perm of hair to cussion the front of my head or it would have been a lot worse.

I bang every area of my head wich is avalible as the staff are allways blocking it off with there hands - the portion of staff that dont ignore me anyways. Often its ended with lorazapam doses.  A tablet that Im starting to get fed up with taking because it makes me worse the next day which makes me take it again which is a horrible cycle of PRN hell that im currently going through. This past week and a half i havent even felt human I've just felt like a angry object with my head feeling like a ticking time bomb that wanting to explode all over the wall that I am banging it against top this with extremely messed up dreams every night. This blog writing is very theraputic. Heres to a head banging free next week..

Pizza night

Tonight is pizza night its been a bad week resulting in a lot of lorazapam but this afternoon im feeling more positive mood wise wich is rare lately

great day out

Had 1-1 today we went to subway sadly I didnt bring my phone to take pictures we were on the way back when we seen this huge promotion by metro radio a radio station of which I am a huge fan we had coffe made to my special requirements we then went on a big bus for goody bags and I had a BLUE (very important) baloon made into a sword here are some pictures


The baloon sword

The free coffee 

The goodie bags 1 I kept for my keyworker

When we got back me and my 1-1 did other things I will edit post with photos soon

viewing a new placment

Ive already viewed one place and I had another one to view on wensday before I was allowed to decide which one I can say I can move to for them to start the funding process etc its a residential building with a linked college both just for adults with autism it is called ESPA . I had a couple of meltdowns before going I had to go in the company mobility van which charges 25p a mile for all residents it was in Sunderland somewhere im not a fan of anyway knowone knrew the adress only the home manager did and she was in a emergency meeting the first meltdown I kicked the walls repeatedly and kicked a mop bucket until it smashed I was supost to be meeting my social worker very soon and they couldnt contact her because she was driving there so the second meltdown kicked off I yanked the locked front doors open and ran down towards the main road a staff and behaviour therapist brought me back into the building where I sat once more eventually the manager come down it was a break in her meeting she got upset at others because she failed to write the adress in the staff comunication book she told staff the adress then he went to look for a sat nav adding to my stress to eventually get maps printed to only as soon as we just started the journey to put the postcode in his phone sat nav !! Realy ?? After all that ?? We got halfeay there and had to stop because staff got a phone call turns out we had the wrong adress half a hour later and a wpnky sat nav and we got there I dont like the place after all that anyways!  Im not allowed to say i dont like the place and that I like the first place I went to until Monday...even though I already know thats my decision  .. social workers honestly

disability disco part 2

The disco went well I have a few videos on my YouTube of me dancing the music was very very Loud there were severly disabled in wheelchairs there pepole bouncing up and down pepole flapping away and rocking including me I met again a resident from my old place Alexandra park he left halfway through like last time. The disco is on once a month. I had two double vodka and coke  heres a picture

Picture of me enjoying my drink ear defenders handy on my leg 

Photo of my ice cold double vodka and coke

And finally a photo of the bar where you buy drinks (and dont get asked for ID.  YES)

Disability disco today

Tonight I am going to a disability disco thats on once a month. Im going to have a bath and wear some nice clothes there has been a bit of upset just before due to other residents  b*tching that they cant go and making us that are going feel like shi@ because she cant go truth is she realy cant not just because there isnt the staff but because she has severe seizures that will be constantly set off by the music-so-loud-that-it-vibrates-through-your-body and flashing lights she can be extremely nasty as it is she has been bulliying me for a few days now. I just lost it threw my water bottle stormed out and slammed the door repetedly until staff stopped me , i went over to my resident freind gave her a hug as i cried in her arms from all the stress. Not happy as it is as one of the residents that is going secualy touched me when he was alone. Now where did i put those ear defenders  .........